“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

The Plan

Late into the night I lay scheming. I thought about the details from start to finish. I went over different scenarios until I had it all worked out. This was going to work to perfection! I fell asleep, looking forward to the next day. What was this brilliant plan, you ask? I was going to “miss” the bus. I was having a bad school year, and the thought of a day off with no one else at home sounded like pure bliss. And since we lived miles out of town, walking was not a possibility.

The next morning, I “overslept.” I waited as long as I could to make things believable and then headed for the bus stop. I dawdled along in the crisp morning air. I couldn’t wait to head back home to enjoy this day. Rounding the corner, I saw the taillights of the bus heading down the road. SUCCESS! Coming toward me was an unfamiliar car, and knowing there would be at least one grownup in it, I made a big show of acting like I was upset over missing the bus. The car slowed to a stop, and a voice I knew all too well said, “Get in, we’ll take you.” I looked in shock at my dad in the passenger seat. He had forgotten something at home, and one of his students volunteered to drive him to get it. Working to hide my keen disappointment, I climbed in. We backtracked to the house for dad’s forgotten item, and I was then driven to school.

But wait, it gets worse! Not planning on being seen, I made no effort in my appearance. My waist-length hair had not been brushed, my face wasn’t washed, and yesterday’s clothes were rumpled. I was mortified! My beautiful plan was dashed in my face like a bucket of ice water. I wasn’t happy that it failed but I also knew that it was wrong and I was getting an instant dose of Disobedience Medicine.

It’s hard to swallow the Disobedience Medicine, isn’t it? We like to justify disobedience, and the more righteous we feel about it, the harder it is to accept. Sometimes the consequences happen right away, but what’s worse is when it takes awhile. We get all comfy, thinking we’ve gotten away with it, and we feel even more justified. The bucket of ice water feels worse then.

Recently the Lord has brought to mind things that I have justified. I’ve said “sorry” without real repentance. He showed me that beyond my actions being wrong, I am also hurting my spirit, and even affecting my future thoughts! Random, horrible, sinful thoughts that make me cringe! Self-justification is a cycle; let’s purpose to break it! Remember, discipline is not always punishment. God is helping us to be better.

Father, thank You for caring enough to discipline us. Please give us a desire to obey so that we may honor You in all areas of our lives. In Jesus’ name, amen.