“And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things.” Luke 10:41

Still Recovering

“Hello, my name is (you fill in the blank) and I’m a recovering perfectionist.”

Not to make light of those who have addictions and have recited that sentence as part of a helpful program, but I do want to share how the Lord got my attention about an obsessive desire for perfection in my home.

Years ago, my husband and I planned a delightful vacation to an island paradise.  All my life I’d wanted to make such a trip and experience the tropical wonders I’d only read about in magazines. Visions of lush green rain forests, cascading waterfalls, colorful birds, and grass huts all danced in my head in a continuous loop of anticipation.

We excitedly made our reservations, and thankfully, we knew a couple that graciously offered to stay at our house to take care of our chores and pets.  Wonderful! What could be more perfect than that? Uh, well, maybe my house? Ah, yes, that old enemy, perfectionism, once again was rearing its ugly head.

So began my internal, Mr. Clean-spit-shine-inspection of all things home-related.   From cupboards to shelves, bathrooms to bedrooms, closets to drawers, it all had to be clean, clean, clean; no, beyond clean. Heaven forbid that someone would see those rascally food-bit crumbs in my silverware drawer. And what about those raggedy potholders? I’m embarrassed to say, I marched right down to the store and purchased new ones—pronto!

The funny thing is, I still have those potholders, by now also a bit on the tattered side. They’re a sad reminder of such incredible folly so long ago. Well, it turns out, I’d apparently worked myself into a frenzy—my nerves were shot, my back was aching, and to top things off, a week before our scheduled departure, I woke up with a cold that turned into bronchitis. No, no, no, this just can’t be happening.

Well, sadly, our trip was cancelled. Somewhere in the midst of the disappointment and the hacking cough, I began to realize what I’d done. Seriously, I put my fear of what others may think of me ahead of all else and especially ahead of God’s wisdom. I’d turned into a “Martha” overnight—a woman “worried and troubled about many things.” Lord, have mercy!

Eventually, my husband and I did make that amazing trip—a year later. But within that year of waiting, I heard the Lord gently showing me the error of my ways. Martha wasn’t such a bad lady; just someone like me, who temporarily forgot that her worth was found in Christ, not outward appearances.

“Dear Lord, forgive us when we get so wrapped up in “appearance”, our homes, our bodies, our lives, that we forget our true value can only be found in You. Help us have eternal mindsets, focused on You and Your kingdom. Amen!”