“And now, here we are, in your hands; do with us as it seems good and right to do to us.” Joshua 9:25

Where He Takes Me, Part 1

Have you ever wandered into pain?

You thought a thing would be good. You looked forward to it, anticipated the fun, the blessings, the goodness, the joy. But it never came. In fact, you got the opposite. You found some things you weren’t looking for, didn’t want to confront, didn’t want to ever see, didn’t invite into your perfectly laid plans.

We’ve all been there. Difficult relationships. Unending tedium. Brokenness. Failure. Crushing disappointment. The end of dreams. Severe reality checks.

I recently found myself on the receiving end of this kind of pain. And I learned something as I walked through it. Since it is so universal, so common to mankind, I want to share some truth with you.

During a difficult conversation with someone who was visiting me, I had to face something ugly and ungodly in that person. It hurt me deeply, because we are very close. I did not know about this part of this person’s life, but there it was in plain view, out in the open. I prayed my way through the night after this person left.

I knew prayer for salvation and forgiveness was desperately needed. For all I knew, perhaps this thing would “not come out except by prayer and fasting”. I prayed through tears and, I confess, no small bit of worry. I took this person before the Father, and kept on interceding.

The next morning, I went to church and prayed for a fresh vision of the purpose of that encounter and the new knowledge of this person I now had. I knew God intended me to pray, but what else? This was a “What Now?” moment.

God quickly answered me through the words of the next worship song. Paraphrased, the words told me that I could just sit and wait, hoping to feel His presence; I could just stay where I was, hoping to feel something again; I could hold on to who I am, and never let Him change me from the inside.

But no, the song says, I really cannot just sit and wait and hope and stay, because He has called me higher and deeper, and I’m going to follow Him to that place. This is my decision.

It was as if He was holding out His hand to me, and saying gently, “Are you ready to move on? We’re going to a hard place. We’re going to walk right into growth and change. We’re going to walk together into discernment, understanding, and wisdom. You’re going to learn some things, and I will be with you.”

I knew immediately that He was speaking of the trouble and pain I had experienced the night before. He was reassuring me that He would use it, He had a plan for it, and that nothing is without purpose.

He is very intentional about what He allows, ladies. Tomorrow, I will tell you a second way the Lord spoke to me about this matter.

Father, how we long to know You more. Take us through the storm, but hold us tightly, Lord, for we cannot survive without You. Amen.