“I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember then from what you have fallen, repent and do the works you did at first.” Revelation 2:4-5 RSV

Early Loves

Part 3

I was reminiscing with a friend recently about the days of our early walk with the Lord. We did not know each other then, but attended the same church. We remembered the Scripture songs we sang, loudly and heartily, along with the thousands of others in attendance. We remembered our pastor in the pulpit, wearing the ever-present Hawaiian print shirt. So many things have been filed in my memory banks of what the early days of getting to know Christ looked like.

I’d found my true love—Jesus—and was at church nearly every time the doors were opened (several times each week.) He led me to sweet, clean waters, and refreshed me in green, flowering meadows. Everything was beautiful and new. I looked for His coming constantly.

All that fresh, flowing energy from the Lord begged for some outlet, some purpose. A college student was starting up a new children’s ministry, and I signed on, volunteering tirelessly for the next five years. This led to leading kids’ camps and holding Bible studies in my apartment. I was still in my 20’s, with youthful energy. Everything I did was for Him. I began to grow in awareness of what pleased Him and displeased Him

When I read today’s verse, I worked hard to remember things that are so long ago, so buried under layers of living. I have moved through so much of the rest of my life since then—so much closer to the end than the beginning—and yet God still has a purpose for me.

But I can think back over times that I drifted and did not do the works of God. It’s as if my anchor that was securely set on the Rock had come loose, and I would finally come to my senses and realize that I was not loving people, not serving my family and church body, not paying attention to God’s Word. Oh, I read it consistently, but forgot it when I closed the Book to meet the day.

Jesus says we need to repent. I don’t know what this looks like for you, but I have certainly learned what it entails for me. When the Holy Spirit guides me into the realization that I’ve drifted, I go straight to the Lord in prayer to ask forgiveness. This means I have to be specific about my sin, and that will only happen if I spend time thinking over what I’ve done, or what my attitude and heart have become, or where my mind has settled into damaging thoughts.

After repentance come forgiveness, and after forgiveness comes return to our first works. This doesn’t mean I return to kids’ ministry (or maybe it does!), but it most certainly means that I love again. I love God first, most, and always; and from that flows a love for others that results in good works towards them, and genuine prayer for them, and giving myself to them.

Father, thank You for providing new opportunities to serve You through the end of our lives. Help us do the first works of love. Amen.