“I, Paul, the prisoner of Christ Jesus for you…” Ephesians 3:1

The Choice That Set Me Free

Walk His Way Revisited

A few days ago, a situation arose in my life that caused me pain. In a text message, I was told I wasn’t needed to help with an event that I had been looking forward to for months. I would just be in the way, under the circumstances. It was an “inconvenient time.”

I all but begged to be allowed to help. More reasons were given why I shouldn’t help. There were already enough people helping. There wouldn’t be enough room. It was going to be an emotional event, so there would be tears, and… and… and….

I was so disappointed. My own angry tears spilled from my eyes, and I became distracted from the other things going on around me. I began to read into the words of the text things that had not actually been said. Hurtful things. Final things. Cutting-off relationship things.

Currents of resentment began to build. I could feel myself protecting my heart by telling myself it’s not my fault; the other person is being emotional and unreasonable; if they are going to be this way, then FINE. I was ready for this to affect everything in our future relationship, and I excused the pain by pouting and feeling sorry for myself.

Thankfully, this pity party only lasted about 30 minutes. Driving home from work, I heard the still, small voice. I almost missed it, so loud was the insistent hammering of my protective wall-building. But unmistakably, the Spirit of God yanked my chain.

“You choose, you choose….”

I knew immediately what He was saying, because I had just finished reading about bitterness taking root in us and how damaging it was. I knew the choice to allow this pain to rule me would put me in chains for a long time.

“I choose forgiveness,” I said aloud at the very moment the choice became clear. “I choose not to be bitter. I choose to live a life of no regrets. I choose relationship, patience, and trust. I choose to walk in love. I choose to believe the best about this person. I choose not to indulge my flesh, which is screaming for indulgence at this moment. I choose to give up my rights. I choose to consider the other person as better than myself. I choose the way of love and service, laying down my hurt as a sacrifice, an offering to the One who gave up everything for me. And I choose to trust the Lord for an outcome that is acceptable to Him.”

I kept talking until I was free of it. I did not chain myself to impossible dreams, nor acceptance by man, nor what I felt I deserved. If there are to be chains involved, they will be because I am a prisoner of Jesus Christ.

Thank You, Lord, for not letting go of me in a moment of decision. I can trust You.