“For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them?” 1 Corinthians 2:11a NIV

The Loudest Thing

I’m part of a big, noisy family. We aren’t shouters, but when we’re all together, the noise is constant and loud. I love loud music and going to concerts, the theatre, and movies. The joyful, chaotic sound of kids playing makes me smile.

There is one sound, however, that often drowns everything else out. Sometimes it is so overpowering I can’t concentrate on anything else. It will be louder than the movie I’m watching, a conversation with my best friend, or even my favorite song. The funny thing is that the loudest thing in my life is something those around me don’t hear.

I am talking about my inner voice. From the time I was tiny, I developed the habit of an inner dialogue with God, and that’s how I would “talk” to Him. I still do it. And there is always, always a song running through my mind. My brain is busy!

Far too often, though, the monologue is bad. If I have a confrontation with someone that doesn’t resolve well, I am overpowered with thoughts, reliving the conversation non-stop. I, of course, think of everything I wish I would have thought to say, but beyond that, I will even create scenarios that didn’t or won’t happen.

I have a family member who isn’t making good choices, and I am sometimes amazed at how much time I’ve spent having a good inner rant. It will start as a plea to God, but before I know it I have spiraled into hopelessness, thinking mean things and even judgment toward this one whom I love so dearly. My mind is sometimes the worst space to be in.

Does anyone else struggle with this? I have written about my battle with my thought life before, so I clearly don’t have a handle on it yet. Since I know that allowing myself to have such a downward spiral in my thoughts is unhealthy, I have found that bringing to mind Philippians 4:8-9 helps: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from Me, or seen in Me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you” (NIV).

Will you share with us the tools you use to get your thought life in order?

Father, thank You for hearing me even when all I do is “make noise.” Please help me to honor You from my innermost being, so that every part of my life is pleasing to You. In Jesus’ name, amen.