“I have forsaken My house, I have left My heritage; I have given the dearly beloved of My soul into the hand of her enemies.” Jeremiah 12:7

Dearly Beloved, Part 2

Walk His Way Revisited

(If you missed yesterday’s devotional, may I suggest you go back and read it now?)

The terrible day my son drove away is etched indelibly on my heart. I took him to lunch. He told me he had come to say goodbye. I hoped to change his mind, but he would not. I couldn’t understand why he was doing this, and I don’t think he really knew, either. He just wanted “out.”

What followed were many weeks of fear for his safety while he struggled to simply live. He and these friends were staying in a fleabag motel in the worst part of town in a state across the country, and were not eating. He resorted to searching between the seats of unlocked cars for any loose change he could find, then would buy from the dollar menu at McDonald’s or Taco Bell. Promises of jobs never panned out. We found out later that his life really was in danger as the crowd he hung with was very rough. Furthermore, he was the only white boy in the neighborhood. He began to just stay in the hotel and never venture out. Pride kept him from asking us for help. Tough love kept us from offering it.

We prayed fervently and waited. I spent the next weeks desperate for the Lord’s comfort and presence. My son was living in a toilet bowl when he’d been raised by the river of living water. We couldn’t understand it. We did eventually help him get home, but we couldn’t do it until he was ready to acknowledge his mistakes and leave that life behind.

God must have felt the same for the “beloveds of His soul,” waiting with such longing, knowing His people were going to walk through the pain of their choices. What God knew, and they did not, was that their Protector was letting them go. He was removing His protection from them, giving them over to their enemies. He was leaving them to their own devices, and they were no match for their enemies. They would be severely weakened, wounded, and scarred. Likewise, my son removed himself from the protection of loved ones. Weakened and wounded, he struggled to survive.

Verse 10 says, “They have made My pleasant portion a desolate wilderness.” This is what it looks like when our high hopes become splattered, crushed, wrecked and ruined lives. Oh, how we love our children! Oh, how the Father loves us!

When my son was done with his wandering, we sent him money to come home. He rode a bus for about four days, finally arriving in Redding. He’d had no food the whole trip except for one day when a woman bought him a burger at a fast food stop on the bus route. In God’s wisdom, the lesson could not be cut short. His car would not run, so it he left it behind along with most of his meager belongings. He brought his Bible home—I didn’t even know he’d taken it with him. When I finally saw him, he was so thin and drawn.

Because I love my son, I began to understand the strength of God’s enduring, steadfast, intimate love for His people—a love that longs for us to be near Him, to give good gifts, to protect and to hold. Sometimes He lets us go our own way, but Jesus advocates for us every moment we are away. His pain is palpable because we experience the same pain at our children’s wandering, rebellious hearts.

I learned what God’s love feels like. I learned how He felt when He let them have a choice, and they didn’t choose Him. I learned the anguish of God’s own soul. And I learned what the whole experience was about for me—so that today I could finally be thankful for what happened.

Anything that brings me a better understanding of my Lord’s heart is worth any tribulation.

Lord, reveal Your heart to us, through any means You deem best. We submit to Your lessons with gratitude.