“For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we have, yet without sin.” Hebrews 4:15

Gritty Questions

Personally, I have a list of questions a mile long for the Lord when I see Him. I’m an analyzer of analyzers and a wannabe-sleuth. As a kid, I even called myself a “private investigator” (ha ha), and believe me, I investigated everything. This isn’t such a bad quality really, but it has caused some turmoil, too. Like recently, when early one morning, I dragged myself out of bed in a ton of pain, and ambled out the garage door to take a look at the sky. It wasn’t quite light outside, but I had questions, boy, did I have questions.

As I watched the twinkling stars, and thought about my Maker, with a hint of sarcasm, I spouted, “Why, I bet You’ve never even had relentless back issues, have You?” I sniveled.  “This is just too much to take. And furthermore, I don’t know why, why, why I have to go through this!” I was tired of the pain, tired of altering my lifestyle to accommodate the pain, tired of thinking in terms of pain and how pain controlled my life.

Surprised? Shocked that a veteran Christian can still have a gritty tirade in front of Jesus? Well, don’t be. You’re probably a nicer, better representation of the Christian lifestyle than me, but I’m getting old, you know, and, well, that’s no real excuse.

Making my way back into the house, I fumbled around in the semi-light trying not to wake my husband. I hadn’t had my coffee; maybe that’s what was wrong with me. I’m pretty sure nobody can act respectably without a morning jolt of caffeine.

Sometimes it seems like the Lord is so s-l-o-w in answering questions. At other times, BAM! There it is. I went out to my mailbox later that day, and pulled out a piece of mail from The Daily Bread Ministries. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the booklet inside by Bill Crowder, titled, Man of Sorrows, How Jesus Understands Our Pain and Offers Us Comfort. What?! The back of the booklet was plastered with bold lettering: “JESUS UNDERSTANDS YOUR PAIN.” Really? I hadn’t ordered this booklet so why did it just happen to show up on the very day I’d questioned God about my pain? Oh, the mysteries of God!

I immediately felt a quickening in my spirit and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt God heard me. He even knew ahead of time when I’d need to see it in print that He understood me, my frustrations, my pouting and shouting and just everything. Oh, He is mighty! Oh, He is so far beyond anything I can even wrap my head around!

I’ll always have questions; that’s just me. Maybe you have questions too. But we can take it to the bank that He understands and doesn’t condemn us for our “human-ness,” our frailty, or our lack of understanding. “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved” (John 3:17).

Dear Jesus, we shouldn’t be surprised when You move heaven and earth (and even mailmen) to deliver answers. How we thank You! How we love You! Amen!