Here’s What I Want You To Know…

…About Depression

 One of the meanings of the word depression is hollow. I thought this meaningful and accurately descriptive of that state of being low in spirits and saddened. Depression comes in a variety of ways and degrees. Its cause may be physical or spiritual or mental. Sometimes it seems there is no cause. One just feels “hollow.” I think that all human beings are subject to depression in some form at some time in their lives. It seems to be part of the human condition.

Depression may be expressed in anger and frustration, or tears, or apathy, or any number of other ways. I am no expert in depression. Yes, I have been depressed at times, but it was something I could shake off by taking a walk or doing artwork or getting out doing things and seeing people. Sometimes I just stayed in my pajamas all day and watched movies. After a good night’s sleep I was back to “normal” and felt like myself again.

For others it’s not that easy. There are chemical imbalances that trigger feelings unbidden. There may be trauma at the root. Some need medication. Some need counseling. It runs deeper and is more insidious than my experience. For some it is paralyzing.

My husband is haunted by PTSD. Over his lifetime he has seen too much and experienced violence, tragedy, and unrelenting physical pain. Out of all that comes a frequent depression. When he is in that condition he loses his zest for life. Nothing seems to matter to him anymore. He continues to function, to do life, to operate on auto pilot, but he is “hollow.”

Over the years we have learned some things about how to respond to this reoccurring malady. He has never gone to counseling or sought medical help, but he gets alone with God and talks it out. He gets it out of his head and into the hands of the One he trusts to bring understanding and peace. That is the way that is right for him. Seeking professional help may be the thing God leads others to pursue.

For a time he was beating himself up because of his emotional state which only added more pain to his burden. We learned together the discipline of acceptance. For my part as a wife I have learned to accept him as he is. I have stopped trying to “cheer him up.” We talk about it and he is granted permission to be sad, to not care, to work through it on his own terms. And of course I pray for him. I listen if he wants to talk, but I can also accept his moodiness and unresponsiveness.

Job was depressed. Elijah was depressed. God met them in those times. He is in the joy and He is in the sadness. He is a very present God.

This is what I want you to know about depression. Don’t add condemnation to your struggle. Be gentle with yourself. Take it to God. Tell Him all. Seek His counsel and if warranted, seek professional care. You are not the only one who experiences this roller coaster ride of emotions (or the lack thereof). This, too, shall pass, and the sun will shine again. God will meet you where you are. He will see you through to a brighter day.

“Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.” Psalm 42:11