“Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.” Proverbs 21:19

Father—Help Us

Walk His Way Revisited

Several words have been hovering in my mind for the last few days. They are stubborn and petulant. Stubborn in the dictionary means: having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so. Petulant in the dictionary means: childishly sulky or bad tempered. They are both adjectives that we surely do not want used to describe us.

In this well-known verse, The Message Bible reads, “Better to live in a tent in the wild than with a cross and petulant spouse.” Other Bible versions of this verse use the words contentious and angry, contentious and fretful, nagging and irritable, nagging and complaining, nagging and hot-tempered, angry and argumentative, and a woman who argues and causes trouble.

These are descriptions of horrible behavior in a marriage, or actually in any relationship. Yet, can you see yourself in one of these portrayals? Do you see yourself as having an enormous amount of influence over your spouse? Are you aware that the enemy wants to deceive you and cause you to stumble in this arena? Do you pray that the Lord would guide your steps, when you place your spouse in the position of having to defend you because of something you said or some attitude you exhibit? Sometimes we can be in the wrong and expect our spouse to do what we want, even though it might not be in the best interest of either of us.  

If I complained about an acquaintance to my husband, then he might take on that same attitude toward this person out of loyalty to me. Later, after talking out my frustration before the Lord and asking forgiveness of Him, and working things out with the acquaintance, my husband may continue to hold the criticism that I spewed out. Since the original problem was mine, my husband would not have worked through my problem, maintaining his hard heart devoid of any godly redemption.

Are we truly taking “our stuff” to the Lord in deep consideration and prayer with a willingness to hear Him respond even if it hurts? Of course, we pray our mates seek wisdom from the Lord, but does our nagging and complaining open a door that is almost too heavy for them to close?

Our speech and countenance is so important in any relationship. We want to be articulate, forgiving, and a true listener.  

“A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance. But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken” (Proverbs15:13).

We don’t want to break the spirit of someone. May God help us to have His Word living inside our hearts. We don’t want to hurt Him by our actions (words that were spoken and hurtful) or inactions (words that were supposed to be spoken but weren’t). “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption” (Ephesians 4:30).

Dear Lord, help us to be honest and kind. Help us to lavish good fruit on those You bring our way or those with whom we live. We need You to help us with our responses and reactions in every relationship. Thank You that You will be with us always, and that You are forever faithful. In Jesus Name, Amen.