Here’s What I Want You To Know…

…About living a life without regrets

It would be a great triumph to be able to look over the entirety of our lives and have no regrets.

This will not happen for me; my own regrets are many, and I could name several without much thought. They are all relational, and all have occurred since I began to follow Christ. I mostly regret words I’ve spoken in anger, pride, or frustration—unthinking remarks, sass, criticism, or irritated retorts—words intended to put others in their place and let them know, hey, I’m a person, too, and you’re walking all over me.

I also have not pursued difficult relationships, family or otherwise, and I realize now I have spent my time amiss—I would rather sit quietly with my Bible open on my lap than love my neighbor. I doubt very much that lives have been permanently transformed by my teaching, or writing, or privately studying God’s Word. God has given specific gifts to edify the Body, yes, and I walk in these daily, but in too many ways I’ve missed the calling that has been given to every believer.

The only way to live without regrets is to love others. This has been taught so often that we are tempted to mentally agree without making the least effort to see it through in our own lives. The beauty of this call to love is that it’s never too late to start.

In simplest terms, what does it mean to love? We look to Christ’s life for the answer: it is doing intentional, active, energetic, enthusiastic kindnesses to others, without partiality. This is important to God, for He loves all mankind, and we are here to do His bidding, strategically placed around the world, around our neighborhoods, churches, and workplaces, and within our own families, to show the love of God. He has made no mistake in placing us where we are, in this generation, this time in His story—He has no regrets.

His call is to do what benefits others. He wants us to put ourselves in the service of others, for their good. He wants us to be at peace with all people, for their good. He wants us to speak tenderly (even if the words must be hard) and redemptively for their good. He wants us to serve the interests of others more than our own.

God loves people and is deeply concerned for their wellbeing, both internal and external. Christ spent a lot of time making people happy, and although there is a supernatural element to making any lasting changes in anyone’s life, yet we are to exemplify His life by doing what He did—which was only what He saw the Father doing, as He clearly said.

When one of my children showed kindness to another child, it made me supremely happy. Whether it was sharing what he had, or helping one who had fallen, or putting her arm around someone who was crying, I knew in those moments that they were leaving a fragrance of kindness in the world. They were changing things for someone.

“He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” 1 John 4:8