“Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:16

Wreckage of Adversity

I read these words in one of Sarah Young’s devotionals quite some time ago, and they have stuck with me: “When you are suffering and your troubles seem endless, remember I am tenderly present in your afflictions. Instead of lamenting the way things are, search for me in the wreckage of adversity. You will not fail to find me ‘when you search for me with all your heart.’ “*

I can identify with the “wreckage of adversity” right now, and I am going to need to press in deeper to the grace and strength of the Lord. The results of my scan were not what I was hoping for. In spite of all the treatment I’ve been through this year, the tumor has continued growing. It is now quite large. My oncologist is meeting with a team of specialists for counsel, and I need to do some more testing—but treatment options are limited and daunting.

To be honest, I felt nauseous when I got the call from my oncologist. She called me almost the minute she got the report. I’m so grateful she didn’t keep me waiting. She’s really a wonderful doctor!

I talked to my family, and spent time talking to the Lord. The news was disheartening, disappointing, but I know I need to keep my eyes on Him and not on the overwhelming circumstances. I’m not giving up hope on praying for a miracle! And I’m trusting for wisdom for all the decisions I’ll need to make in the coming days and weeks.

I’ve felt the support of your prayers—thank you! Obviously, I need your ongoing prayers. Please pray for wise counsel from the specialists, and for God to clearly guide my steps in the coming time. Please pray for fresh courage, fresh grace, fresh strength…and keep praying with me for a healing miracle.

I recently read this quote from Corrie ten Boom: “There’s nothing too great for God’s power. Nothing too small for His love. God has no problems, only plans.” I’m trusting for His plans for my future.

David said in Psalm 139:16: “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”I know my days are in His hands—which is a wonderful place to be.

I’m asking God to help me get my equilibrium back! I feel like my emotions and my heart were swung way over on the overwhelming/impossible side yesterday…and I want to get my heart fully back on the side of keeping my eyes on the Lord and trusting Him. My heart and my mind are already there…but my emotions are tender still.

God, nothing surprises You. Help us walk through what is ahead. Amen.

P.S.  May I ask a favor of you? I so value your prayers, and I know you want to help me out of your hearts of love and concern. But I’d like to request that you not send me all kinds of ideas of what I should and shouldn’t do. It can be a bit overwhelming. I have researched various treatments extensively these last few years—and then have prayerfully decided what to do. I don’t go into all the details of my treatment in these updates, but I will tell you that I have combined alternative, homeopathic, natural regimes with my medical treatment. No two cancers are alike, so I have sought the Lord for what is best for me. He has faithfully guided me. Please pray with me for His wisdom for the path ahead.

*Young, Sarah. (2009). Jesus Lives: Seeing His Love in Your Life. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson.