“Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; therefore hear a word from My mouth, and give them warning from Me.” Ezekiel 3:17

The Ways of Her Household

My children are grown now, and as many of you can relate to, I look back with hindsight at some things I wish I had handled differently. I was a young believer then, and the ways of the Lord had not completely become my ways. I was far too often led by my flesh and not my spirit. God lived in me, but He did not yet have the final word in my decisions.

My parenting was a compilation of the advice of friends, magazines, family-oriented radio programs, and books, rather than the admonition of the Lord. Thus, I was topsy-turvy in all my ways. I lived in a state of never quite knowing the right thing to do in situations. One man is famous for this ministry—listen to him. My friends have experience in that—listen to them. That homeschooling parent has had success doing this—so I should do this in my own home. I began to feel like a failure because I couldn’t do it all, and I eventually turned off the flow of outside information so I could live out what the Bible told me.

I did not fail in everything, but I did fail to grasp the seriousness of one aspect of the virtuous woman’s life in Proverbs 31:27: “She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” I had too many kids to eat the bread of idleness,but I wish I had watched over the ways of my household more diligently. We are now reaping what we somehow sowed over the years—children who were discontent with one another, children who held grudges and did not learn to forgive, children who did not show grace and mercy to each other, children who now believe with all their hearts that we preferred one or another of them (each believes someone else was the favorite!)

I wish I’d noticed. I wish I’d watched over their little hearts. I wish I’d seen the way they were taking. In retrospect, I think I was trying to survive the chaos of a young family and just make happy memories and a secure home. Maybe I didn’t have a handle on my own heart, much less theirs. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

I know God can redeem our past choices. But for you who still have a chance to speak into the lives of children and grandchildren, be the Proverbs 31 woman: Watch over the ways of your household. Be the watchman spoken of in today’s verse: watch over your house, and if you see them taking a wrong path, give them a loving warning from God.

Lord, You search the heart, You test the mind (Jeremiah 17:10). Lead us as we watch over the ways of our households. Amen.