“Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.” Psalm 23:4

Aloneness

When Floyd suddenly became ill, one of the most impactful things that happened to me was missing his daily presence in my life. Our conversations, the fun we had together, his sweet hugs and warm smile, our lovely fellowship in journeying life together—it was all suddenly gone. Even when he traveled, which he did frequently, we stayed in daily communication.

Then—it was gone. He was in a hospital bed, laying in a world of silence, not speaking. I felt the “aloneness” intensely. I have many friends here, and they have been so helpful and supportive. They have helped fill the gap to some degree, but no one could replace my gentle giant.

On the one hand it’s lovely that I haven’t lost him completely—but on the other hand I feel like I lose him all over again each time I go to see him and come home to the empty house. My husband is still alive, and yet I feel like I’ve been a widow for many years already.

The aloneness is a weight and a gaping hole in my life. But over the months, the Lord started ministering to my heart. The encouragement of the Spirit, and the Lord’s constant presence in my life, began to lift the weight from my heart and mind. Then one day revelation struck—“aloneness” is an illusion that the enemy tries to burden us with. We are never truly alone—the Lord is always, constantly with us. Even when we “feel” alone, it’s a lie. Feelings come and go, but God’s presence is a steady, constant truth. We aren’t alone—He is with us, carrying us, holding our hand, ministering to us.

As I began to take hold of this truth, I have walked in a new level of comfort from the Lord. It didn’t happen immediately. The house still feels empty. I still miss Floyd being here. But I was able to press into a new level of fellowship with the Lord that helped lift the burden of being alone.

It’s kind of hard to explain, so I hope my attempt to communicate this is coming through clearly. It’s very personal, but I wanted to share it because I think many of us struggle with different types of “aloneness.” Whatever it is that we feel we’ve lost that leaves us alone—it is an illusion because God is always, always, always with us. We are never alone! I take great strength and comfort in that.

“God, You are WITH us. We are never alone. Every moment of life is good and meaningful because of that. How grateful we are for Your continual presence. Because You are with us, we don’t have to fear anything that is ahead of us. We declare Your faithfulness!”