“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Genesis 1:1

In the Beginning


Years ago, I was struggling with one of the most difficult times of my life. I had some hard decisions to make. I could take the hard road less traveled or I could take the easy road. When I asked God what He wanted for my life, I felt Him leading me towards the more difficult path (this was not what I wanted). I came across this writing the other day; it was written while I was in the middle of this life-changing trial.

“Lord what do You want me to do? I know You don’t want me to turn my back on You, having a pity party or feeling sorry for myself, asking, ‘Why me?’ You want obedience from me, using my pain and hurt to help others. Not to judge but to understand, not to criticize but to be compassionate. Lord, I feel I have been stripped down, lost, betrayed, hurt and confused. I am a fixer-upper and need Your help. Please restore me.”

After writing this, I was led to Genesis 1:1. Looking at the words “in the beginning” brought on a whole new meaning. I had to journal the rush of thoughts that were coming to mind or I would burst. As the tears flowed, so did my pen. I was writing words like reconstruct, rearrange, start over, re-boot, build up, re-organize, remodel, rejuvenate and reflect. I felt like a DIY project in motion. I felt like an old home full of toxic paint, rotting boards and a cracked foundation. The good news is, God said the structure is solid and can be saved. But I had to learn that I am not a contractor. God has to be the contractor making the big decisions like what is to be removed and what can be restored and rebuilt.

That was a year and a half ago.

Now that my life is upside down and under construction, I can actually see progress and potential. The firm foundation that was underneath the brokenness was and is God. He is showing me how He has held my hand through the difficult times and has never left my side even when I felt lost and alone. This sturdy structure that continues to stand is something He helps me build upon daily. This is done through His Word that is full of instructions and promises. This is a lifelong project, not one finished without struggle and sacrifice. I long to be finished but fully believe that the struggle is part of the reward.

“Father God, thank You for the struggles that lead us to You, because without You we would be broken down instead of lifted up. Thank You for filling us with hope and giving us promises we can lean on. Thank You that when we stumble, You are with us even when we don’t feel Your presence.”