“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5

Digging In

This is the third Christmas since Floyd got sick. I was surprised and caught off guard when a wave of sadness hit me on Christmas day. I thought it would get easier as time went by, but it felt like I’d been hit by a new massive wave. I think it’s all part of the journey I’m walking on—but I’m very tired. That probably makes me more vulnerable. I’ve been talking a lot to the Lord. As always, “His consolations cheer my soul” (Psalm 94:19).

I’ve been reminded in recent days of an oyster. I grew up on an island off the coast of Texas. We had lots of fresh oysters. I never saw a pearl in one of them, but I know others found them! Pearls are formed when particles of sand get stuck inside the oyster shell. That irritant works in wondrous ways to produce beautiful pearls. The longer the irritant is there, the more beautiful and valuable the pearl becomes. There’s a direct correlation between the length of time of the “irritant” and the beauty of what is produced.

I keep reminding myself that the trials on this unexpected journey are producing good things in my life.  I may not see them – but God is using the sufferings I’m walking through to mold and shape me in His ways.  Actually, I can see some of the things He’s doing……but mostly I just have to keep my eyes on Him and trust Him.

I’ve lived long enough to learn that it’s not so important what comes our way – but how we respond to those things!  Our responses can make or break us.  I’m keenly aware that I can’t make it on my own, but as I turn to Him – He gives the needed grace and strength.  I don’t want the trials to defeat me!  I want to dig deep into new levels of His strength.  I’ve seen that each experience, each trial I walk through – as I lean into His strength and grow through it……it prepares me for what’s ahead.

With His help, if I’m faithful to persevere in each crisis – faithful to persevere in the long haul…..it will force me to stay tucked in close to Him so that I must rely on Him completely.  He is truly strong in my weakness.  I know I can’t make it alone, but I also know He is absolutely faithful!!

I heard one time that hope begins when you stand in the dark looking out at the light.  When the wave of sadness washed over my heart and emotions – I looked to Him who is THE light!!  He brought the warmth of His sunshine to my soul.

There are times on this journey when I feel like I have dug SO deep into God’s reserves of help and strength that I must be reaching the bottom.  And then something new comes along.  As I keep digging, I find His resources are never-ending.  There is always deeper still to go in His grace, help, and strength.  How very, very faithful He is!!