“Our skin has become hot like an oven…” Lamentations 5:10

 In the Heat of the Night

It’s happening with more frequency now. I’ll be asleep, and suddenly I wake up. Instinctively, I fling the covers off. And then it happens: my body starts to feel as though it’s cooking from within, the heat spreading from my core, until I feel the drops of sweat springing from my skin. I lay there for a few minutes in misery, when just as suddenly, I feel cold and need to cover up again. Hopefully, sleep will resume. Some nights it happens every hour!

Ah, night sweats…the thing I’ve been hearing about for years has descended upon me, and I must say, I’m not enjoying them ONE iota! I already struggle with sleep issues, and now I have this to add yet another disruption. *Sigh* It especially feels odd to me, because I was the one who was always cold! Now I run a fan most of the day. On the news the other day I heard that night sweats could last as long as 14 years! That was not at ALL encouraging.

I’m not just struggling with the physical aspect; mentally, this has been HARD. I’m not sure why, as I’ve never been one who has been upset about my age, but I’m simply not ready for this dratted thing known as menopause. It’s a milestone, but not a good one in my eyes. Maybe it’s because I’ve not known the privilege of marriage and babies. I’ve had to skip the good milestones, but I still have to endure this one. While I can’t really put my finger on it, I’ve come to the realization that, ready or not, it’s here, and maybe my mental fight is only making it worse. In essence, I’m kicking against the goads.

In Acts 26:14, God asks Paul why he is persecuting Him, and tells him that it is hard for him to kick against the goads. A goad was a long stick with a hook and pointed end. It could be used to gently drive an ox, but sometimes the ox would kick it. If it kept kicking the goad, it earned itself a wounded leg. The more the ox resisted, the more he hurt himself. And all of this kicking is pointless, because it’s not going to stop the owner from driving the ox to where it needs to be. Paul could persecute (kick the goads) all he wanted, but he wasn’t going to stop God’s purpose.

So, here I am. I need to find a way to stop kicking the goads. I will pursue different methods for physical relief, but more importantly, I must pursue peace in God in this journey, so I can have mental peace as well.

“Jesus, thank You for life lessons, even when they are ones I don’t like. Thank You for the physical strength that I do have; may I never take it for granted! Amen.”