“If You, the Lord, would mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with You, that You may be feared.” Psalms 130:3-4

Released

I love this verse and it causes me to think about the great value of forgiveness. I’m overwhelmed with His love and willingness to forgive and give grace.

What’s sad is sometimes we don’t realize we carry past guilt or unforgiveness. This came to my attention a while back at work when a coworker told me that another coworker was afraid of me because I was mean. This was a complete shock to me. It is my job to train and correct when needed, but I’ve always thought I was kind and compassionate. This pointed to the problem of being impatient and short while instructing new employees. It is, and has been, my desire to reflect the Lord at work because this is my “mission field” and He has blessed me with my job.

After much prayer and self-evaluation, the Lord did show me a spot of unforgiveness in my past—an offense and hurt that I had tucked away, not wanting to face. The Lord gently showed me He could take this if I would release and forgive. Of course this is my desire, because I don’t want any separation between me and the Lord, but it’s not easy to face or to look at my sin in this situation. Some of the guilt was a lie of Satan, but my sin was hanging on to it and not forgiving or accepting God’s forgiveness to me.

When I realized this, a great peace soothed my soul, allowing the Lord to heal this deep wound. The salve of the Holy Spirit released me to love bigger with kindness and patience.

Guilt and unforgiveness can be a devastating slave. When certain buttons are pushed by people’s behavior, we can react in ugliness, wondering where that came from. That day in prayer, the Lord showed me it came from that deep hurt in my soul that had caused guilt and unforgiveness, not reflecting the Lord’s love and grace at all. I know there is more junk in my heart that He will continue to reveal.

Life is a process and, as we continue to walk with the Lord, He reveals things not quite right that need to be corrected and washed in His grace. His Word is that bath that cleanses, and in prayer His closeness is revealed, causing obedience in giving over those deep hurts that we thought were dealt with, but maybe we still hold on to. I don’t understand, but I’m glad I can trust Him because He is all-knowing, all-loving, all-worthy, and completely able to change the situation for His glory. And change me! Halleluiah, what a Savior! I’m released in His glorious grace!

“Thank You, Lord, that You don’t hold our iniquities against us and You have forgiven because of Your huge love. Thank You that in love You reveal our shortcomings and change us when we give them over to You. Amen.”