“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18 ESV

Attitude Adjustment

One evening last week, my husband cooked dinner for us, using beef you’d use if you were making stew (except he wasn’t making stew). My experience with this meat is that it is tough if not cooked for a long time. So while I lounged in the recliner, I called into the kitchen: “Did you cook it forever?” At the time, I thought it was a reasonable question—he doesn’t have any experience with cooking stew beef like I do.

He was offended. “You sound like you automatically expect it to be a crummy dinner.”

Now it was MY turn to be offended. “I didn’t say that!” I heard his words, but not his heart.

It wasn’t until the next morning that I realized what my words had implied. What my husband heard is, “You don’t know how to cook like I do. You should have asked me how to prepare stew meat. I would gladly have told you.” And worst of all, he heard, “Don’t try new things without asking first.” He was hearing my heart—and he heard it before I did.

I repented before the Lord—AGAIN—for not thinking before I speak. In my prayer, I asked God WHY these wrong attitudes escape my mouth. The Scripture came to me: “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34).

Then I asked the Lord sincerely for a better way to handle my complaining spirit. I don’t fully understand why my heart is full of complaints. I don’t completely grasp why I feel free to speak my mind without first thinking of the feelings of others. I don’t really know why my tongue, so wise in other matters and with other people at other times, can speak so foolishly in my home.

“God, what is the cure?” I cried out, heavily burdened by my sin.

My heart heard His clear answer: “Be thankful to Him, and bless His Name” (Psalm 100:4). No, He wasn’t saying to be thankful I have an unrestrained tongue. He was saying that the cure for a complaining spirit is a thankful heart. 

I knew what I had to do. “God, thank You for a husband who will cook dinner for me. Thank you for a job that puts meat on the table. Thank you for Your forgiveness.” On and on it went. By the time I finished being thankful for my blessings, my burden weighed nothing, and my complaining spirit had disappeared.

The next day on the way to work, traffic was horrendous. Trucks took up the lane I wanted to drive in; cars zoomed around each other as the freeway became like a pinball game. But I remembered to be thankful. “God, thank You that I have an air-conditioned car to drive, and a job to go to, and people that care whether or not I show up…” My complaining spirit disappeared instantly.

“Father, You have given us the cure for a complaining spirit. May we walk in thankfulness. Amen.”

“Do not hide Your face from me in the day of my trouble; incline Your ear to me; in the day that I call, answer me speedily.” Psalm 102:2