“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”  Galatians 6:9

Don’t Grow Weary

As I was in the kitchen preparing a salad to take to a last minute dinner invite with family, I noticed that as I worked I was getting a little faster and louder (anger does that!). I suddenly realized I was “sportin’ a tude” because I really did not want to be with these people. In fact I was getting pretty sick and tired of their lifesyle, the elephant in the room that nobody talks about, and the meaningless (to me) worldly conversations—in other words, the same old stuff. No matter how much or long I have prayed for them to know the Lord, it seems like nothing will ever change with them!

I knew I had to get an attitude adjustment before we went to their house, so I prayed, “Lord, You need to change my attitude!” He basically told me that before He could (or would) do anything, I needed to confess my ungodly thoughts and feelings as sin and repent of them. So of course I confessed my anger, justification, self-righteousness and negativity as sin, but when it came to the part when I said, “and I repent of them,” I had to stop. I was saying the words, but my heart did not really want to repent and give up those thoughts and feelings. I wanted to give up on THEM instead, because at that moment it was all about ME! I guess I forgot that it is really all about HIM! (By the way, have you ever looked in the mirror while you were “sportin’ a tude”? Not a pretty sight!)

He gently impressed on me that although I was not seeing any changes in them, it didn’t mean that He wasn’t working. After all, He is “not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). It’s not my job to change them, nor is it in my timing or my way. I am to keep praying for them, keep loving them, and keep shining HIS light, and if He does gives me the opportunity, speak the truth in love with humility. (Not even easy to SAY, and impossible without the Holy Spirit!)

As I repented, prayed, and the shook off the “tude”, I wondered, maybe one of the reasons things never seem to change is because I really quit expecting them to change. Oh, me of little faith!

Now here’s the exciting and rewarding part: with my (His) perspective back, things that evening were surprisingly enjoyable. After my husband said grace before we ate, one of the girls asked if he would say another prayer for her friend who had terminal cancer! That was a first! God opened a door and we even had a short discussion while the two of us were doing dishes!

God is always at work, sometimes changing “them”, sometimes changing me! Hallelujah!

“Father, thank You for Your faithful and gentle rebukes and the reminder to keep up the good work; it is a good work because it’s Your work. Thank You for the gift of repentance that keeps our relationship sweet, and keeps me from growing weary and losing heart. In Your wonderful, powerful name, Amen.”