“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” Psalm 94:19

Joyful Dependence

I had some good news yesterday! In my original cancer diagnosis five years ago, the tumor had cut off the working flow of my right kidney. We have been trying ever since to get the kidney to function. A year ago the doctor told me he thought it would probably need to be removed, but he wanted to wait a bit longer.

Then in the surgery this past January, the doctor saw the option of doing some things to help the ailing kidney. At my 6-month checkup yesterday, he examined everything via ultrasound. Amazingly, wonderfully—my kidney is completely back to normal! All the swelling is gone, and everything is working properly.

Continuing to persevere through everything in my daily routine, I am keenly aware that I am dependent on the Lord. I need Him every hour of every day! I couldn’t make it without His grace, strength, help, and wisdom. I would be so lost without His help.

The world might think that this kind of dependence is a sign of weakness, but it’s actually completely the opposite. Knowing we can’t make it on our own, that we’re dependent on Him, is acknowledging where our strength comes from! Our strength comes from the maker of heaven and earth! It’s not a negative thing. It’s the most wonderful thing in the world that we can trust God to be our help in all the details of our daily lives.

If I’m not careful, life can seem overwhelming at times. One of the things that helps significantly is that there is a deep well of joy that He puts in my heart. Heavy problems, yet deep joy. Only God can balance that out and make both possible. In the midst of hard situations, I’ve found I can even choose joy. I ask for His “mantle of praise instead of a spirit of heaviness.”

Sarah Young, in one of her devotionals, uses the phrase “joyful dependence.” There is a beautiful joy in knowing that we are dependent on Him, looking to Him, trusting Him. It’s not a contradiction. There is dependency and there is joy—and they go beautifully together!

In thinking of this, I was reminded of a poem. I may have shared it before, but it’s been on my mind so I want to share it again. The author is unknown. It was found on the body of a soldier at Gettysburg in the American Civil War.

“I asked for strength that I might achieve;

He made me weak that I might obey.

I asked for health that I might do greater things;

I was given grace that I might do better things.

I asked for riches that I might be happy;

I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;

I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;

I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I received nothing that I asked for, all that I hoped for –

My prayer was answered.”

I often ask God for help to make it through some of the hard things in the day.  He graciously answers – and He also gives me joy.  What a wonderful Father He is.  His answers aren’t always what I expect, but He is always faithful!

“Father, we look to You to meet our needs. We lean on You, and look for the joy You give. Amen.”