“Love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil.” 1 Corinthians 13:5

Provoked

When I was young, my father and stepmother would sometimes take my brother and I out for breakfast. It was always an uncomfortable time for me. Looking back, I understand that I probably saw my stepmother as a usurper of my mother’s place in my father’s life.

But what made me uncomfortable at the time was the rudeness of my stepmother. She had no problem telling the server just how incompetent she was, how slow, and how wrong. My father—a gentle, quiet man—fidgited with his napkin and would not look up from his plate. My brother and I sat staring out the window, red-faced. Even as children, we knew this was inappropriate behavior. No one spoke up to her, and I always felt sorry for the servers.

I never knew why my stepmother was so easily provoked, but she became far more gentle with age. I’m glad I stayed in relationship with her, in honor of my father’s dying wish, so that I could see this change in her.

I wish I had remembered what that “easy provocation” looks like while I was making a purchase at a local store recently. The cashier offered us a store credit application that, if we were accepted, would entitle us to a 30% discount on that particular purchase, plus all kinds of frills in the future. I did not want to bother with it. To me, the savings wasn’t worth the aggravation of standing at the counter any longer—plus I was HUNGRY and it was getting LATE and we had OTHER ERRANDS to run—couldn’t my husband see that? But my husband wanted the 30% discount.

I told him that HE would have to fill out the application. My protest was evident. The application asked for a social security number—I announced loudly this SHOULDN’T BE necessary. The application wanted annual income—I rolled my eyes and said they shouldn’t need all our private information. It wanted address, phone number, email, and—I’m pretty sure—all the names and ages of our children, the name of our best friend, and what we had for dinner the night before.

Let me tell you, I was provoked—by the (innocent) store, by my (frugal) husband, by my (growling) stomach, by the laws that, at that moment, wouldn’t allow us to keep our lives private…. I behaved rudely, “blowing” my witness to others around me, in essence removing any possibility of loving them or exalting Christ. I was seeking my own way—very selfishly and forcefully. I was thinking evil of everyone but myself. The cashier remained cheerful, similar to how the server did with my stepmother.

How I repented this morning when I started my Bible study homework! How the scales fell off my eyes! Conviction came with just a word from God—no homework, no contemplation, and no inner reflection required. I was living in the flesh, plain and simple.

“Lord, forgive us for our selfishness. Thank You for Your lessons on love, and would You put up a shield to protect others from our hurtful actions. Take the scales off our eyes, and let us love in truth. Amen.”