“Let Your mercy come to me, that I may live; for Your law is my delight.” Psalm 119:77 (ESV)

The Wrong Delight

I was bullied through most of my school years. People undermine my experience, saying they were picked on sometimes. I wasn’t picked on. I endured verbal, physical, and mental abuse. In the 6thgrade, there was one particular boy who took great joy in tormenting me, and he was relentless. One day he acted up in class and mouthed off at the teacher’s reprimand. The teacher then told all of us to grab a sheet of paper and draw a picture of the boy. Though I am no artist, I thrilled at the assignment. I started with the basics, and then added red spiky hair. I made sure to add the braces on his teeth. And then, I started on what truly made this boy stand out: freckles. Soon, the room was echoing with the taps of many pencils, as we gleefully made sure our drawings had plenty of freckles.

As the tapping reached a crescendo, the teacher said, “Okay, that’s enough freckles now.” We giggled as we finished our drawings, and I was happy with mine. Several students laughed at my rendition. I looked at the boy. He was smiling, but I could see the underlying humiliation that he was desperately trying to hide. I recognized it because I wore that same expression often. Guilt washed over me as I realized that I had taken such delight in something so cruel. I justified it by remembering all the awful things he had done to me, and for the awful things that I knew were to come. Even though I felt bad, I was too relieved at not being the target for once. I wish I could say that I apologized, but outwardly I didn’t show any reaction other than to tuck my drawing away. I wasn’t a Christian yet, but I knew that I had not pleased God.

“Delight” has a simple definition: it means to please someone greatly. It pleased me greatly to take part in the public humiliation of a classmate. Doing so brought the opposite feeling to my spirit. I felt greatly displeased within, and I daresay God felt the same way.

Psalm 37:4 tells us to “Delight yourself also in the Lord…” Had I been delighting myself in the Lord, thinking on Him first, I would have felt conviction before I took part in the drawing. I could have chosen the same mercy that I desired. It’s such a simple reminder. What we choose to delight in greatly affects our actions and our spirits. God is great and greatly to be praised. I may have to purpose to delight in Him when things aren’t going well, but He deserves nothing less.

Father, please forgive me for my actions that do not bring you delight. Bring to the forefront of my mind the desire to please You, and bring You glory. In Jesus’ name, amen.