“…according to the eternal purpose which He accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through faith in Him.” Ephesians 3:11-12

Bridge Toll            

I have often crossed toll bridges to get to distant cities. There is no other way around—you just have to pay the toll. Exact change, please. Roads have to be maintained. Who would want to cross a bridge that is unsafe?

When we live in unforgiveness, it is like requiring others to pay a toll before they will be allowed to cross the bridge to our hearts. We keep raising the price of the passage. “You have hurt me; thus, you must pay a price. I must maintain this bridge, this distance between us.”

I’ve lived in that far-off city. It’s an emotional distance I create between myself and someone who has hurt me. This is my protection, my solace. I make sure I am unavailable to that person. My mind replays their sin. I make sure they know what they have done to me—over and over. My heart is inaccessible, removed from relationship. I am secluded, remote—and so are they.

That is, unless that person pays the bridge toll. Then they are allowed to cross over to me—but just for a short visit. I have to protect myself, don’t I? They have to pay for what they’ve done, don’t they? Relationship maintenance is expensive and time-consuming when there is unforgiveness.

What’s the exacting toll that we require? A certain amount of time has to go by. We have to be in the mood to open the gates to our fair city, and we’ll open just a little bit, for a little while. It has to be on our terms, not theirs. And it’s never fully paid, because every time they want to cross over to us, we require that it be paid again.

How often do they have to say they are sorry? How many ways do they have to show it? When will it be enough? When will the toll be fully paid, the bridge free of hindrances forever?

Only when we forgive. Only when we realize that our own sins are no less than those of the person who hurt us. Only when we realize the great forgiveness God has offered to us.

The Lord does not require us to continually pay a toll to access His heart. Once we confess our sins, repenting of what we have done that built the impossible-to-cross bridge between God and ourselves, with an impossibly exorbitant toll to pay, then we are free to cross at will. Jesus paid the toll. We can’t afford it, but thank God we don’t have to.

“Father, we offer our praise for making a way for us to come to You. Thank You for forgiveness; may we now forgive others and not close off our hearts to them. Thank You for how You love us! Amen.”